Rename it: “ 2-FaceBook” or “Passive Aggressive Anonymous”or “ShowYourTrueColors”
After dealing with this incredible social phenomena for some time, I have observed and have listened to countless stories of cyber bullying, various family squabbles and innuendos, announcements made that fall nothing short of “airing dirty laundry,” people trying to get back at people by posting passive-aggressive comments on a friend of a friend’s wall so that the intended receiver gets the message in much the same way that talking behind someone’s back to their best friend achieves, insults, “Lord of the Flies” post feeding frenzies,relatives of friends who friend the X- wife and X- husband to show their judgmental“I don’t agree with you and you don’t deserve to be happy” side, pictures that say, “you were left out of this,” and the list goes on. If your intention is to get back at people,be happy. You have succeeded – and yes, you hurt someone’s feelings.
I have listened to countless stories from clients who are broken hearted over information they read on the Internet. I have heard of marriages in trouble because of friendships that were rekindled via social media. Relationships suffer and families don’t pick up the phone – they post you a message that the whole world is privy to.
Very early on a young lady sent me her resume for a job. As luck would have it,as an employer, I decided to search out her name on “Passive Aggressive Anonymous” – what I saw was a plethora of pictures of underage drinking. Are you kidding me?? And you want to work for WHOM? I suggested she rethink her vocational choices and cancelled the interview – only to receive a nasty e-mail from her father informing me that “all kids drink.” Maybe. I would not have known it if those pictures were not posted for the whole world to see.
Yesterday, I had a wonderful conversation with a colleague who for whatever reason decided to share his thoughts about social media with me (it is an occupational hazard;people tell me things). He shared that he told his own children that if he read something important on their status update before they picked up the phone to call him about it, he would never speak to them again. He then proceeded from there to tell me his thoughts on relational skills, communication (or the lack thereof), and the inability for some to handle themselves in the business AND personal relationship world because of the overuse of social media. Sadly, I found myself agreeing as I have been paying attention to what I see. “I post office events,” said I. I must admit I felt a little guilty at first until I found out he had a profile too so that he could see pictures of his grandchildren. We sounded like we belonged on the front porch of a house in two rockers BUT, there was a great amount of wisdom in our conversation and he mirrored to me what I had been thinking about that morning.
So, if you are invested in relationships – pick up the phone or make it a point to make time to get together. Save the insults, the gossip, etc. and talk to the person you have a problem with so that the issues get resolved. Posting nasty little quips on the friend of a friend’s wall only makes matters worse and validates why your relationship fell apart anyway. If you say, “I don’t care,” admit it. YOU DO. If your toenail needs clipping, please keep that information to yourself. Though God loves your toenails, the rest of the world thinks they are pretty gross. Want someone back in your life that you have been estranged from? Call them on the phone and/or set up a time to get together to resolve the issues that separated you to begin with and leave it out of the social media. Care to join with the other cyber bullies on the cyber block? Think twice and remember what it felt like to be in that position in the schoolyard. It was not very pretty. Someone doesn’t like your sports team or political candidate or religious belief? Didn’t you ever learn any manners before? Whatever happened to respecting other’s opinions? Remember that social skills don’t but should carry over to this social phenomena. May you have a year filled with peace and think twice before you don that post with your name on it.
